im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Randomize
