Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
