she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
