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Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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