I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
