y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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