How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
