Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I pour the whiskey from now on
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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