i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
