No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
