Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
