I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
