u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
