It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Can I color on your dick again?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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