have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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