whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
