I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
