we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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