LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
