you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
