Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
