The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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