I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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