went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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