I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
