I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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