First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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