It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
