i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He kissed a someone with a penis
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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