that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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