that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
