How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
My ass is underappreciated
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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