hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
