Well douche your snatch and let's go!
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
