I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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