Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
