ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize