How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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