I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
