dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
