im about as happy as oj after his trial
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
