she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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