there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i would punch a child for taco bell
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
