ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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