i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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