I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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