I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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