Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
