ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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