3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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