Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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