I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
